The Bomber's Heir
by Aurifex
Summary: Yaoi. Mpreg. Sasori's been noticing something... different about Deidara... has the experience that scarred the bomber for life left him with something much more horrifying then memories?
1. Diseased

Auri's Notes:

Okay. This... is...

-deep breath-

...Mpreg.

-is shot and stabbed by pissy fangirls-

I'M SORRY, OKAY? I COULDN'T RESIST. DEI WOULD BE CUTE PREGNANT. STFU.

Flames will be doused, if you don't like it-

DON'T.

READ.

IT.

Oshit. I made Itachi kind of OC. Sorry. TT

Contains yaoi in later chapters. SasoDei.

Further explanation of Dei's pregnancy will be revealed in later chapters as well.

Enjoy.

Dei/Sasori/Itachi (c) Kishimoto

-----

"Deidara?"

Sasori rapped sharply on the bathroom door. There was no reply, or none that Sasori could hear. With a frustrated sigh, he pounded the door again and called once more for his partnet.

"DEIDARA. Are you done in there?"

A weak voice strained from inside. "N-no..."

"What the hell are you doing in there that's taking you so long?" Sasori knocked again, anger growing in his voice. "Dammit, Deidara, I'm coming in there." He heard no protest from the other as he shouldered his way into the room.

Sasori's blonde partner was slumped over near the toilet, knees up to his chest. Even though they weren't in close contact, Sasori could tell that Deidara was trembling, and his face was coated in sweat and had dulled to the color of wax paper.

"Are you sick again?" Sasori asked, almost disbeleiving. This had been the third time in a week that the bomber had taken ill. 

Deidara looked up at him from his spot on the floor with a tear and sweat streaked face. "Mhm." Was the only reply. Deidara slowly allowed his knees to relax, and his shaking hands circled his stomach.

"...Damn.." Was all Sasori could manage. Deidara suddenly paled another shade and lurched forward with a retch. Sasori sighed, crossed the room, crouched down behind the blonde, and pulled his hair back away from his face.

"It... it feels really bad, danna," Deidara gasped, shoulders heaving. "Un... I don't... I don't even know..." He closed his eyes, swiping his mouth with the sleeve of his cloak.

Sasori did not yet release his hair, for fear another wave would take the young ex-terrorist. "I know," He said quietly, putting a hand on Deidara's back. Of course, he /didn't/ know, but it was the only thing he could think of saying at this point.

"What's going on?"

Sasori glanced up to see a familiar, black-haired man in the doorway, looking perplexed. Sasori shrugged at Itachi and said simply, "Dei's sick again."

"Isn't that like the fifth time this week?"

Deidara retched again, and Sasori tightened his grip on the blonde's hair. "Third." He said, glancing up at Itachi and sighing. "I think someone... should probably take a look at him..."

Deidara glanced up, wiping his mouth. "A doctor? What, un?" His baby-blue eyes widened slightly, "It's just the flu or something! Honestly!"

Sasori sighed. Honestly, that's what he thought it was, but he knew Deidara didn't want to see a doctor in the first place. Oh well. It was best to let him avoid what he was dreading for now, and plus, his condition didn't seem critical.

"Um... Sasori-danna," Deidara glanced around with wide, teary eyes. "Uh... can...you.. uh... get me water or something...? I'm.. afraid to get up, un.." He asked tentatively.

Sasori nodded, and glanced over at Itachi, who was leaning against the doorframe with a blank look on his face. "Get me a glass, would you?" Sasori asked, exasperated. Itachi looked from Deidara (who had settled against the wall, shaking) to Sasori, who was giving him a dangerous look.

"Fine." Itachi said shortly, and disappeared from view.

Sasori glanced around at Deidara. The boy's face was drenched in cold sweat, his eyes closed as tight as his mouth. A pained expression lay on his face, and Sasori could tell that his teeth were clenched.

Itachi returned a few minutes later and plunked a glass of water down onto the bathroom counter. "You're welcome." He said shortly, quickly departing before he was roped into more menile tasks.

Sasori reached for the water. Hm. It even /looked/ like tapwater. He handed it to Deidara, who took a tentative sip and muttered a croaky, "Thank you, un." After taking a swallow of the water, he learned forward and spat it out into the toilet, reaching up to flush it afterwards.

"That's such a bad taste, un." Deidara muttered, leaning back against the wall and taking another small sip. "Even water doesn't get it out..."

Sasori couldn't remember the last time he'd been sick. It was probably sometime when he was very young, though. Vaguely, he could recall the sick, acidic taste that seemed to remain in your mouth for hours afterwards. "I know," He said quietly, putting a hand on Deidara's back again. "Just brush your teeth or something."

Deidara sighed, and leaned into the hand. "I don't think I can stomach putting /anything/ in my mouth right now, un." He muttered, glancing at the puppet. He reached up to wipe his forehead on his sleeve with a shaky exhale.

The redhead chuckled at this. "Then you're screwed." He said, moving his hand up and down gently. He was quiet for a minute, before speaking again. "Feeling any better?"

The bomber nodded shakily. "Yeah... a bit, un." He said, taking another sip of water.

"Have you been overeating?" Sasori asked suddenly, looking around at the other. Deidara shook his head, looking rather puzzled.

"Actually," Deidara said, "I haven't been eating much at all this week. Just enough to keep me walking, un." He sighed dramatically, and hung his head. "Okay... I think I'm okay, now..." He finished off the water and stood up, with Sasori following.

"So... what are you going to do now?" Sasori asked, edging towards the door. Deidara shrugged and ducked into the hallway, one arm still coiled around his misection.

"Dunno. Might go take a nap, un."

"You know, Leader-sama's going to get angry if all you do is puke, eat, and sleep." Sasori put his hands into his pockets, looking rather amused. Deidara shot him a look and he grinned. "Well, he is!"

Deidara shrugged lamely, and suddenly stopped. "I'm hungry, un."

Sasori whirled around, jaw dropping. "How are you hungry?! You just threw up everything you've eaten in the past day and a half, how can you POSSIBLY be hungry?"

Deidara shrugged for the third time. "I don't know!" He cried, "I honestly don't know but I'm starving now, un!" He kept walking, putting his hands into his pockets with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"That's...weird..." Sasori said blankly, shaking his head. "Well, what are you hungry for?"

The blonde frowned. "I don't know, actually..." He paused to open the door to the kitchen, Sasori still following. "I think... maybe... no, un..." He mumbled to himself, beginning to rifle through the refridgerator.

Sasori leaned against the counter and watched the bomb technician with a small smile. Deidara pulled out an unlabeled tupperware container and peeked into a corner. He recoiled with a hiss, and threw the container back into the fridge.

"What?" Sasori asked, leaning forward slightly. Deidara looked back at him with a face the color of tissue paper.

"I don't know, but I think it's Zetsu's lunch." Deidara said shakily, turning back to the fridge and rummaging in near the back with a sigh.

Sasori could only imagine the horrors of Zetsu's lunch. It was probably a disembodied arm or something. Just as his curiousity was starting to get to him and he was about to cross the room to look, Deidara backed away from the fridge and shut it with something in his mouth.

Sasori frowned for a second before realizing it was a pickle. "I didn't know you liked those." He folded his arms. Deidara shrugged and crunched down on the green cylinder.

"I didn't know I did either, un." Deidara chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "But it just sounded good."

Sasori stared at the bomber for a minute before shaking his head disbelevingly. "You confuse me," He said, watching Deidara take another bite. The blonde shrugged, and swallowed.

"It's good though, un." 


	2. Revealed

AURI'S NOTES:

If I spelled Sharingan wrong, shut up, I don't want to hear it. xD

Ohshit, now we get hints as to wth happened to poor Dei.

And now we see how badly I write Itachi. YAYYYY. 83

------------

"Sasori... you know something's wrong."

Sasori looked up at Itachi, his expression pained. "I know..." The Sharingan user folded his arms.

"So where is he now?" Itachi asked, obviously referring to the blonde.

"Sleeping."

"So... has he talked to you at all about... what happened?" Itachi's voice faltered slightly and he frowned. Sasori swallowed hard and shook his head. "Have you ever really thought about /why/ Deidara's getting sick all of a sudden?"

Sasori's eyes flashed and he looked up at Itachi. "What are you getting at?"

Itachi took a deep breath. "I'm just saying... when it happened, Deidara was henge-ed into a woman, right?" He said, keeping his tone light.

Sasori nodded. "He was..."

"So... what if... you know... something happened?" Itachi seemed to be having more and more trouble with every word. Sasori's heart raced as the Uchiha finished speaking, and he felt his eyes widen.

"Something... Itachi, what are you saying?"

"Sasori... what if Deidara's pregnant?"

Sasori felt a wild urge to laugh that was quickly replaced by disgust and then became horror and then finally decided on panic. "Oh my god." Sasori leaned heavily against the wall, putting his hands up to his face. "Oh my god..."

Itachi moved forward slightly. "We don't know that!" He said, putting one hand up defensively. "I'm just saying... you might want to keep an eye on him just to see if the sickness fades away or if it stays... and if he... gains weight, or... something, then we'll know if he is or isn't."

The puppet clenched his teeth together and nodded, heart hammering. "Have you discussed this with any of the others?" He asked after a moment, noting the quivery tone in his voice.

Itachi shook his head. "No. We should wait until we know for sure."

"What are we going to tell Deidara?" Sasori asked tentatively. He didn't want to picture breaking the news to the bomber. He was so young, so innocent. It would kill him.

The Uchiha shrugged. "I don't know. He might even get suspicious of it himself and ask... it would be best to wait for now, Sasori."

The puppet nodded, making eye contact with the ground. "Yeah..." A sudden thought struck him and he looked up at Itachi. "Do you think he'll get rid of it?"

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Sasori, I don't know. Probably." He sighed, and folded his arms again. "I'm going to go meet up with Kisame. We have work to do. Remember. Keep an eye on him." He looked over his shoulder at Sasori one more time, and then exited the kitchen, leaving Sasori to groan desperately into his hands and slide down the wall.

He remained there for... he didn't know how long. Maybe a half-hour. He would have been there longer, had a certain blonde not entered.

"Danna?"

Sasori jumped, and looked up into Deidara's baby-blue eyes. "Hey... how are you feeling?" He asked weakly, trying to keep his face passive.

"Hungry again, un."

-----

Deidara's condition slowly seemed to fade over a few weeks. However, Deidara's personality was taking a strict decline. The blonde grew rather, in short, bitchy, snapping at people and his mood taking constant, violent swings from one extreme to the next.

Other than this, however, Deidara's appearance took on no visible change.

Or, that's what Sasori thought.

Deidara was a very sound sleeper. Sound enough, Sasori found, that he could enter the blonde's room without him stirring.

It was dark. The only light came from the digital alarm clock, which cast an eerie blue glow over the blonde's sleeping face. Deidara slept on his back with his arms splayed at his sides, the perfect position for what Sasori was about to do.

Heart pounding, Sasori slowly drew back the blankets covering him. The blonde didn't stir. Sasori stared at Deidara's chest, his stomach, covered by a plain black t-shirt that he wore when he slept. Hands shaking, Sasori slowly pulled up the fabric of Deidara's shirt, afraid what he would see.

He had good reason to be afraid.

The once-toned muscles of Deidara's stomach were gone, replaced by a smooth, even surface that a slight pudge could be seen. Sasori closed his eyes, dropped the fabric, and backed away, feeling oddly cold. 


	3. Betrayed By God

AURI'S NOTES: Well, SpaderStallion, to answer your question... he handles it something like this:

----

Deidara sobbed uncontrollably into Sasori's shoulder. Sasori sighed, and rubbed Deidara's back softly with one hand, the other tightening his grip around the blonde. "I d-don't un-underst-tand it," He wailed, fingers gripping Sasori's cloak. "H-how could this have even h-happened, un?"

Sasori shook his head, the hand on Deidara's back moving up to stroke his blonde hair. "It's okay..." He whispered, as Deidara's breath hitched in his throat. The bomber swallowed hard, and resumed the fitful sobs. "Shh... Dei, calm down..."

"Sasori, for god's sake-" Deidara pulled away suddenly, his face ashen and streaked with tears. "You're telling me to calm down? I have a f-fucking...THING... inside me, d-dammit, un! I can't fucking c-calm down!" His words wrenched into another sob and he pressed himself into Sasori again, howling.

Sasori clenched his eyes shut and rested one hand in Deidara's hair. This was just like, if not worse than how he'd pictured it. There seemed to be no way to console him. The sneaking suspicion that the other members of the Akatsuki had gathered outside of the closed door to Deidara's room to eavesdrop escalated as Sasori caught sight of a shadow moving underneath the door.

Once Sasori had confirmed the news with Itachi, the news had spread like wildfire, reaching everyone except Deidara himself. Even Leader-sama knew at this point, even though he had said nothing to neither Deidara nor Sasori about it. Sasori was grateful for this, having been through enough stress in the past weeks to the point that each day he awoke with a headache that felt like his skull was being pummeled against a door.

"Dei... stop crying."

Deidara's grip on his cloak tightened, and he sobbed once, apparently desperately trying to cease the flow of tears. "I... I'm trying, Danna..." He stammered, breathing still coming in rapid gasps. "I really am." The blonde sniffed, pressing his hands to his face with a groan.

Sasori sighed, "That's it...That's it, Dei..." He nuzzled Deidara's blonde hair, using his other hand to rub in small circles on Deidara's quivering shoulders.

Deidara sniffed again, and wiped his eyes. "I... still can't believe it, un..." He croaked, one hand resting on his stomach lightly. He looked down at it, a mixture of disbelief and what looked like hatred in his eyes. "I... I'm..."

Sasori nodded slowly. "It'll turn out okay, Deidara." He said quietly. "All in the end." The blonde was silent, still looking down. "How's your stomach? Feel okay?" Sasori asked after a minute.

"I feel fine." Deidara said dully. "As fine as I can be now, un." He closed his eyes, and curled both arms around himself with a moan. "Ohhh, Sasori-no-danna, wake me up, and tell me that this isn't happening, un."

"I wish I could, Deidara." Sasori looked across the room, not really fixing on anything to look at. "I really wish I could." He rested his hand against his forehead with a small sigh. "Look on the bright side, though." When Deidara cast him a dumbfounded look, Sasori raised his eyebrows. "You always have the option of getting rid of it."

Deidara's eyes widened slightly, and a new expression came over his face. The look... Sasori didn't like it. Deidara's eyes reflected amazement, and a sort of dawning realization. There was horror there, too. "I could." Deidara said shortly, excitedly. "I could end this, un."

Sasori thought he heard a gasp from outside the door.

"Dei...be careful," Sasori said carefully. "You might hurt yourself. It would be best if you made your decision and then have one of us do it." Deidara looked up to face him, and his expression cleared.

"I guess you're right, un." Deidara muttered, curling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. "I'll think about it..."

"I have to tell Leader-sama." Sasori said gently, running a hand over Deidara's hair, coated with sweat. "You realize that, right?" iEven though,/i He thought darkly, iLeader already knows and is probably sitting outside the door as we speak.../i

Deidara nodded. "I know, un. And that'll mean that soon everyone else will know, un..." He sighed dismally and put a hand to his head. "I need a nap." He glanced up at Sasori, who took this as his cue to leave Deidara alone.

"Okay." Sasori nodded, and slipped off of Deidara's bed. "I'll leave you alone. Let me know if you... you know, want anything." He said uncertainly. Deidara nodded and collapsed onto his pillows without another word.

Sasori heard a scuffling noise as he turned the knob, which meant that the rest of the Akatsuki was getting out of the way so he could open the door. Sasori couldn't care less. Swinging the door open wide in the hopes of smacking someone with it, he entered the hallway to see Leader, Konan, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, and Zetsu standing there expectantly.

Sasori put a finger to his lips, keeping his expression blank, and walked past them, waving for them to follow him into a different room. 


	4. Freak

AURI'S NOTES:

...Leader-Sama sucks.

-------------------

"He's keeping it."

Sasori's eyes flew open wide. "WHAT? Leader-sama, you can't be serious!" He stood up, shaking his head. "He can't possibly-"

"No. He's having it."

"Pein." Konan spoke gently, reaching over to put a hand on his arm. "Think about Deidara for once. Is there any real reason you want him to keep it?"

"Deidara is a useful weapon." Pein cracked his knuckles slightly, keeping his eyes fixed on Sasori. "If he has a child, it will most likely carry Deidara's trait of the extra mouths. The mouths are how he makes his bombs, correct?"

"Well... yes, but-"

"If something ever happens to Deidara," Pein went on loudly, "We will have another bomber. The bomber's heir. The child will be Deidara's replacement."

"That's cruel." Sasori said bluntly, falling back into a seated position. "Taking a /child/ into the Akatsuki for the sole purpose of being a weapon."

Konan nodded. "Pein, be reasonable... Deidara's still just a boy himself... for god's sake, Pein, he's only 24...he can't handle being a parent..."

The rest of the Akatsuki remained silent. Hardly any of them had spoken the entire time. It was merely Konan and Sasori versus Pein. Everyone else was a spectator.

"Not the point." Pein looked at Konan carefully, frowning slightly. "Deidara is valuable. I /want/ someone of his caliber on hand when needed, and dammit, who better then Deidara's own son?"

"Or daughter." Sasori spoke up quietly, blinking soberly at Pein.

Pein ignored this and went on, "Look. I don't want to hear any more of this shit, okay? The brat's keeping it and that's final."

Sasori curled his lip. "Then you can explain that to Deidara."

The Akatsuki leader snorted. "Like hell I am. You're going to be the one telling him, Sasori. And I want it done, and I want it done /fast/, got it?" He leaned in slightly, matching Sasori's furious gaze with an equally angry glare.

"Pein, that's not fair." Konan said sharply. "It shouldn't be up to Sasori do to all of this."

"It's Sasori's damn partner!" Pein snarled. "The brat's HIS responsibility, for fuck's sake! It's his own fault that his partner got knocked up in the first place, dammit! You don't see your comrade get knocked unconscious by someone you don't know and just stand there and watch while this guy violates him!"

Sasori simply hung his head. If he could cry, he probably would. Pein's words hurt worse than kunais, worse than his own poisons. "I know." He whispered. "I... know it's my fault." Sasori rested his forehead in his hands with a sigh. "I'll do it. I'll tell him. I take responsibility..." He took a shaky breath. "...for helping to raise it, too."

Konan remained silent, while Pein fixed him with an angry stare. "Damn right. It's as much responsibility yours as it is the brat's now."

"Leader-sama?" Sasori asked quietly, looking up at Pein after a minute. "Do I have to tell Deidara today?"

"When he wakes up."

-------------------

Deidara had not taken kindly to the news. His mood, rather, had swung from being furious at first, then to sobbing quietly against a wall with Sasori seated on Deidara's bed with a pillow over his head. He had grown to hate the sound of Deidara crying. It reminded him of a lost child looking for his mother.

He heard the sculptor's breath hitch, and the sobbing paused. Sasori uncertainly lifted his head from beneath the pillow, eyes trained on Deidara. The blonde had both arms around his stomach now, and his eyes were half-open. "Dei..." Sasori said quietly, reaching out with one hand. "It'll be okay. I promise."

Deidara nodded, and took Sasori's hand. "I... hope so, un."

Sasori's hand tingled as Deidara laced his fingers with his. Deidara had seemed eager to do so, it seemed. Maybe it was Sasori's imagination, maybe Deidara was desperate for human contact. Either way, the tingling sensation was pleasing. It was rather like when he'd held Deidara in his arms earlier that day, although this sensation was more intense. A simple gesture, yet with so many unspoken words poured in.

"It will be. Trust me. I've already told Leader-sama that I'll help you... raise it." Sasori said, watching Deidara's expression change to hopeful delight.

"Really? Sasori-no-danna, you'd do that for me, un?" Deidara let go of Sasori's hand and scrambled onto the bed, crouched on all-fours. "Thank you!" He threw his arms around Sasori, who was slightly taken aback but returned the embrace.

"It's no problem, Dei." Sasori muttered, a half-smile on his face. "Really. And hey, just think- you don't have to go on another mission for a while."

Deidara sighed. "I kind of like missions though, un." He said quietly, resting his head on Sasori's chest. The tingling sensation spread. "And I won't be able to blow anything up..."

Sasori shrugged, and put a hand in Deidara's hair. Long, blonde, and... it smelled sweet... almost like citrus. i'Dei, what kind of shampoo do you use...?'/i "I'm sure Leader-sama will find things for you to do," He said, running his fingers through the soft locks.

"Hah." Deidara looked up, an amused look on his flushed face. "Like what, un? Cleaning?"

Sasori chuckled. "Probably..." He said with a sigh. "At least it'll keep you moving. You can't just eat and sleep."

"Sasori," Deidara blinked. "Um... neither of us know how to take care of a baby, right, un? I mean... I'm a 24 year old pregnant male and you're 30 and a puppet, un...None of the other Akatsuki has ever had children...How do we know what to do?"

Sasori considered this. He didn't even know in the first place. "I guess we'll have to do some reading." He said carefully. "Maybe Konan can help us, too... I mean.. she's a woman and probably knows more about it than we do..."

Deidara nodded against Sasori's chest. "Yeah, I guess, un." He said glumly. The blonde sighed, and slowly pulled away, much to Sasori's disappointment. He sat crosslegged about a foot from Sasori, chin in his hands. "So... does everyone know, un?"

Sasori nodded. "Yeah. Pein told them."

The blonde groaned. "I'm a freak and everyone knows it, un. Great! Just great..."

"You're not a freak." Sasori said sternly. "Not compared to the other weirdos here. You have four mouths and a baby- that's /nothing/ compared to the plant, the fish, the puppet, the zombie, and the good boy."

Deidara laughed out loud. "I guess you're right, un," He said with a soft smile. "It could be worse."

Sasori smiled. "There we go... look on the brighter side." He put a hand on Deidara's shoulder momentarily. "Look... I've got to go back to work." He slid off the bed, feeling Deidara's eyes following him. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Deidara nodded, and got up as well, "I'm gonna find something to eat, un." He stretched, and followed Sasori to the door. "Hey... Sasori..." He put his hand on Sasori's shoulder, gently nudging him around. "Thanks."

Sasori gave him a half-smile, and for a reason even he didn't understand, gripped the blonde in a breif hug. "No problem." He muttered, releasing a surprised-looking Deidara and nudging his way from the room. 


	5. Swings

Auri's Notes:

-clamps hands to mouth- This chapter gave me SUCH a cavity after writing it. -whines- Owowowwww... TT

--------------

Deidara progressed steadily into more violent mood swings and had nearly doubled in size. His random cravings were insatiable, or so it seemed, as he had labeled every new jar of pickles that appeared in the fridge with a post-it note reading, "DEI'S, DO NOT TOUCH". He had abandoned of his Akatsuki cloak and had taken to wearing loose-fitting black shirts along with his usual pants.

Something was /different/ about his appearance, too. Beforehand, Deidara had always been good-looking. Bright blue eyes, that amazing blonde hair. Fair skin, thin eyebrows, his muscles toned and his incredibly white smile.

But now... if it were possible... Deidara looked better. His skin seemed to always sport a healthy glow, his hair, it seemed, had turned to silk, and his eyes were clear and seemingly overbright.

For some reason, it was driving Sasori crazy. In a way that was both good and bad. He appreciated the way Deidara looked, above all, but the fact that he so, so badly wanted to play with Deidara's hair, to touch it, to be /near/ him was driving him nuts. He didn't even know why that insane urge had been gripping him lately.

However, it was weird. Very, very weird. His mind kept flitting back to the long nights they'd spent together, Deidara howling his pent-up stress into the shoulder of Sasori's cloak, and Sasori keeping silent, one arm around the blonde's waist and the other moving in small circles on his shoulders. Those times were, much to Sasori's disappointment, becomming less frequent as the weeks wore on. Deidara seemed to slowly adjusting to his predicament, becomming more and more tolerant.

Sasori was not, overall, enjoying the situation. Neither was Pein. Deidara seemed to be the worst, snapping at others and just plain being a prick sometimes, and then spending his evenings pouting or crying, although the second option was quickly fading.

Konan, however, had taken an odd interest in the blonde. When Deidara wasn't in a foul mood, she would talk to him and keep him company when Sasori was not around. It turns out that Sasori had been right in saying that Konan knew much more about this kind of thing than anyone else there. She had never been a mother before, but it was a natural motherly instinct that drew her to Deidara.

Deidara, however, seemed to want Sasori in the room at all times, no matter /what/ mood he was in. If anything, he wasn't so much of a bitch to Sasori as he was to the other Akatsuki (Konan being the only other exception), which Sasori was grateful for.

Sasori found himself becoming increasingly jealous of Konan. She was able to offer Deidara so much advice that Sasori could not, which made Sasori want to pound his head into the ground and scream. 

i'So what am I good for anymore?'/i He found himself thinking one day. i'If Deidara has Konan, what does he need me for?'/i With a sigh, Sasori leaned against the back of his chair, closing his eyes. i'Why does he want me around?'/i

Sudden yelling and the clattering as something hit the floor roused Sasori from his depressed reverie. Looking up in beweilderment, he heard two voices, both of them he recognized.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS IT, WHAT WAS IT, UN?!"

"DEIDARA THAT'S NORMAL, TRUST ME!"

The door banged open, and a terrified looking Deidara plunged into the room with Konan wrestling him back. "DEIDARA, IT'S FINE, THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!"

"IWHAT WAS IT?/I" Deidara howled, his eyes wild.

Sasori frowned, "What's going on?"

"I think it kicked him." Konan growled, and at this, Deidara stopped squirming and fell silent.

"What?" Sasori leaned forward slightly. "Kicked him?"

Deidara groaned. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE KID AND IT ALREADY HATES ME, UN!" He hung his head, shoulders sloping.

"...don't be stupid, Dei." Sasori stood up, striding across the room to take Deidara by the shoulders. The blonde fell easily into his arms, "Konan's right, that's normal. It doesn't /hate/ you."

Konan rolled her eyes and shook her head, striding across the room to take Sasori's seat. "He absolutely panicked," She groaned. "And I mean PANICKED."

"I can tell." Sasori said darkly, holding Deidara by the waist with one arm and putting his other hand into the blonde's hair. Deidara's moans had turned into sobs.

"Oh, for god's sake, Dei," Konan said sharply. "Are you PMSing or something?"

Deidara looked up sharply. "PMSing?"

"Never mind." Konan groaned, standing up. "Sasori, he's yours for now. I've got to go find Pein." She nudged past them and out the door with another sigh.

Sasori sighed, and gently moved Deidara so that he was at arm's length. "Now stop." He said quietly. "Konan doesn't know how to handle this any better than the rest of us."

Deidara's eyes were full of tears still. "Sasori... you d-don't know what this is like, un." He whispered. "I've never been so sc-scared in my life. I've...I've never felt so alone, un.." He seemed to refuse to look at Sasori, as he kept his eyes on a point over Sasori's right shoulder.

Before he knew what he was doing, Sasori had craned his neck and was kissing the blonde soundly on the lips. Deidara managed to mutter a small squeak before throwing his arms around Sasori's shoulders. They remained there, Sasori feeling Deidra's warm breath on his neck.

Eventually, they pulled away, Deidara looking up at him with blue, questioning eyes that still held the remains of tears. "You're right." Sasori whispered. "I don't know what that's like. You have every right to be scared, granted. But I promise you-" He brushed away Deidara's blonde locks. "You're not alone." 


	6. Untitled Chapter

Auri's Notes: You guys should see my dentist bill. Seriously. 

Meh, chapter of pointless fluff and stuff. ; Either way, enjoy it.

---

The first time that Sasori had actually felt the child kicking against Deidara's stomach, it was a both chilling and exciting experience. The soft fluttering made Sasori jump about a foot in the air.

Deidara had laughed his head off at his shocked master. "It's fine." He said, leaning against back of the couch with a pleased smile on his face. "Just like you said last week. It's /normal/, un."

Sasori felt a grin break across his face for the first time in a week. "I know..." He scooted closer to his new lover and rested his hand on Deidara's stomach again. "You're right, I admit."

Deidara smirked, and laid his hand overtop Sasori's. "That's right, un." Sasori leaned forward to nuzzle Deidara's hair, smile softening.

The remainder of last week had been a fitful affair. Deidara had been, at first, naturally confused. Then again, so had Sasori. There was the confusion as to why he'd kissed Deidara in the first place, but slowly the things had fallen into place and he'd realized-

He had fallen in love with the bomb technician.

Deidara had been amazed at first but slowly came to realize his own feelings for Sasori.

"I wondered," He had said, "Why I'd been so eager to be around you... like... why it was you that I only wanted to cry with, un..."

Those words had penetrated deep. Sasori had been overjoyed to hear them, though.

In a way, the other members of the Akatsuki had grown almost accepting of this. Konan had squealed happily and Tobi had yelled, "AWWWWW," and then Kakuzu and Zetsu had laughed while Itachi and Kisame exchanged looks and Hidan had gone on a rant about heresey while Pein just rolled his eyes and said nothing.

Overall, it had generally annoyed Sasori to no end but he kept his mouth shut for fear of Pein exploding on him.

"Hey... Dei?" Sasori laced his fingers with the terrorist's, looking up at the blonde through his curtain of yellow.

"Hm?"

"Have you though about... names, at all? I mean... you're four months, right? So... have you given it any thought?"

Deidara was quiet, a flush creeping over his face. "Well..." He said quietly, looking at something across the room. "I've been thinking about a girl's name...can't decide on just one..." He trailed off, "I haven't thought about a boy's name though, un."

"Get thinking, then!"

The other was silent for a minute before sighing contentedly. "You know, Danna... I never thought I could be this happy. Not in my current situation, un."

Sasori felt his face flush, and he smiled lightly. "Oh?"

Deidara shook his head with an unaffirmative, "Nuh-uh. I never thought I'd end up with someone like you...Not when you used to despise me, un." He chuckled lightly. "I didn't have a name back then, remember?"

"Sure do, brat." Sasori smirked, and rested his head on Deidara's shoulder. "How could I forget?"

Deidara returned the smirk, his eyes half-lidded, but said nothing. Sasori sighed and closed his own eyes, feeling Deidara's thumb stroking overtop of his hand.

"Danna,"

"Hm?"

"If it's a boy, I want you to name it, un."

Sasori opened his eyes, and lifted his head to look at the other. "Are you sure?" He asked, frowning slightly. Deidara's face was calm, the smirk having disappeared to be replaced with an oddly serious look.

"Yes." Deidara said with a nod. "You promised you'd help me raise it, right? So, that... kind of makes you the father, un."

"So that makes you the mom?"

Deidara swatted Sasori upside the head with a chuckle. "I hate to admit," He laughed. "But you're right..." Deidara sighed depondantly. "I wish it would look like me. I don't want it to look like... that guy, un..."

Sasori winced slightly, and squeezed Deidara's hand. "I hope it doesn't either." He said quietly, swallowing hard. "I want it to look like you."

Deidara nodded. "Same here..." There was a pause between them, before Deidara spoke again. "So, now it's up to you to find a boy's name, okay, un?"

Sasori nodded, and looked up again. "Okay. I'll be thinking." He smiled, and craned his neck to kiss the blonde's neck while receiving a pleased shiver in return. "Well, what was /that/, Dei?"

Deidara shrugged, not making eye contact with Sasori.

"Huh?" Sasori teased, breathing heavily into Deidara's neck, his mouth inches from the skin. "What?" Taking a chance, he pressed his mouth to Deidara's neck again, grinding his teeth lightly against his collarbone and beginning to bite gently on the skin, earning a soft moan in return.

"Sasori..."

"What? Dei like that?" Sasori grinned into Deidara's neck. Deidara weakly nodded, his face flushed red.

"D-don't-" Deidara groaned, trying to pull away from Sasori and failing. "I want to be careful, un..."

Sasori frowned and lifted his head to look at Deidara. "Careful?"

"I don't want... anything to happen yet, un." Deidara still was refusing to look at Sasori. 

Sasori frowned deeper, unsure of what he was talking about. "Dei..." Then, it clicked. "Oh! Oh, god, Dei, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything! Honestly, I wasn't expecting anything, I swear-"

Deidara smiled weakly. "It's okay, un." He said, glancing at Sasori. "Really..."

Sasori turned crimson and pressed his hands over his face. "I'm sorry..."

"Danna. Quit apologizing. I told you it's fine, un."

Deidara pried Sasori's hand away from his face, and laced his fingers with his. Sasori finally looked at the pretty blonde, who had an amused yet strained look on his face.

The two just looked at each other for a minute before Deidara leaned into kiss Sasori, who met him halfway. 


	7. The Flashback Scene

Auri's Notes:

I dunno how many times I rewrote this chapter… seriouslyyyy. ..

---

When Deidara was five months along, he and Sasori had settled away from routine missions to take care of the Akatsuki lair instead (and Deidara as well). Pein had given Sasori the mission of keeping Deidara in check, which Sasori was rather grateful for.

Things were going smoothly for a while, until the blonde had a rather startling epiphany.

"I DON'T HAVE BOOBS!"

Sasori nearly choked on his bookmark (which he'd been chewing on a corner of) and looked up at the blonde from his seat at the table with an incredulous look on his face.

"NO, REALLY?"

Deidara, who was seated across the room on the kitchen counter, shook his head frantically, looking wildly down at himself. "YES."

"Wow. I hadn't noticed." Sasori rolled his eyes and flipped a page in his book (entitled 'The Walking Wounded'). "Gee, you think you should've noticed that a little sooner, uke?"

"Don't call me that." Deidara grumbled, folding his arms and sighing. He was quiet for a minute, before saying, "How am I gonna feed the damn thing, un?"

"Um." Sasori turned around in his seat. "Blondie- There's an invention called the 'baby bottle'. It's what pregnant males like you use because they don't have b-" He had to duck a flying fork that Deidara flung at him, "What the fuck, Deidara?!"

Deidara sighed. "I want my fork back." He rested his head in his hands, looking at the floor. Sasori sighed, slipped his bookmark into place, and leaned off his seat to scoop up the fork.

"Now," Sasori twirled the fork in his hands, looking back over his shoulder at Deidara. "Should I give it back to you, or should I make you come and get it because you threw it at me in the first place? Hmmm..."

Deidara sighed. "Can I have my fork back, please, un?" He held out his hand, looking rather depressed. Sasori took one look at the blonde's face and groaned inwardly; Deidara always knew how to seduce him into giving him what he wanted.

Sasori crossed the room and grudgingly put the fork into the blonde's outstretched hand. Deidara sighed again and put the fork down onto the counter beside him, and looped his arms around Sasori's neck.

"What's wrong?" Sasori looked up at the blonde, frowning slightly. "Feeling okay?"

Deidara did nothing for a minute before shaking his head back and forth with another sigh.

Sasori cringed inwardly. "In that case, go take a nap or something." He said. Deidara shook his head, still silent, and eased down off the counter, looking rather pale. Sasori gingerly put a hand around Deidara's waist. "Well, if you're going to play the silent game, you might as well do it while you sleep."

Deidara silently flipped him the finger and shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't open your mouth, in that case." Sasori grumbled, letting go of the other and folding his arms.

Deidara shook his head, his eyes half-open.

"Don't faint, either."

Deidara didn't even grace this with a nod or a shake of the head, rather, he just sighed and walked past Sasori.

"Where are you going?" Sasori called after him, frowning.

"Sleep." Deidara's muffled voice finally rang out. Sasori watched him exit the room before sighing himself and sitting back down at the table with his book.

This was getting insufferable. Only four more months until both his and Deidara's lives would become a living hell. Deidara's mood swings had not improved in the slightest and it was driving Sasori nuts, just like everything and everyone else.

Sasori glanced up at the pounding of feet. "Sasori," Came Hidan's voice, "Will you do us all a fucking favor and explain to the damn kid where babies come from?"

Sasori frowned at the white-haired man for a moment before repeating blankly, "Kid?"

"Tobi, for fuck's sake!" Hidan threw his hands into the air, his teeth grit. "He's just now realized that Deidara shouldn't be able to have a fucking kid, so now he's been following Kakuzu and I around asking about it! Dammit, Sasori, explain it to him!"

"WHY ME?" Sasori whined, "Why not Konan?! She knows more about it!"

"Because Tobi's fucking afraid of Konan!" Hidan growled, "Ever since she gave him that papercut-"

"The one that bled for three days?"

"Yes! He won't go near her!"

Sasori groaned and thunked his head onto his book. "So why can't you and Kakuzu explain it to him?"

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Hidan yelped, "I'm not gonna explain that shit to him, damn, Sasori, are you crazy? You're the guy's... boyfriend... or whatever.." Hidan's face reddened, "You should be able to explain _some _of it."

"Hell no." Sasori lifted his head up, peeling his bookmark off his forehead and sticking it back into his mouth to chew on a corner. "Hell no, Hidan, sorry. Tell him to ask Leader-sama. It would be funny."

Hidan smirked. "Good idea." He sat down across from Sasori with a sigh. "I'm just glad I escaped the little shit. Kakuzu is probably cursing my fucking name at this point." He ran a hand through his hair. "So. How's YOUR brat?"

"I don't know." Sasori said thoughtfully, looking up at Hidan. "Honestly. He's sleeping now, or trying to, he might be throwing up at this point."

"I thought he was over that."

"Guess not. Maybe it comes back in waves, I dunno." Sasori flipped a page in his book. "He wants me to name it if it's a boy. Any suggestions? And if you say 'Jashin' I'll kill you."

Hidan smirked. "I wasn't," He said, leaning back in his chair. "I was actually going to suggest looking in a book for name ideas."

Sasori glanced up at the other. "Touche." He said quietly. "I'll give it a shot, then. Thanks, Hidan."

Hidan heaved himself to his feet. "Well, it's been great, but I should probably save Kakuzu's ass. See you later, Sasori." He grumbled, walking past Sasori and exiting the kitchen again.

Sasori sighed. That had been a close call. Even he himself didn't understand how Deidara's pregnancy worked in the first place. The memory of how he /became/ pregnant was even more chilling, it made Sasori's head throb to think about it.

------------

_"That's not funny." Sasori grumbled, looking up at his female counterpart. Deidara grinned at him through red bangs with a feminine giggle to accompany it. _

_"Oh, shut up," He looked down at his own chest. "Sasori, if you were a woman, my god, all the other females would be jealous, un! You've got huge breasts!" _

_"Shut up." Sasori scratched his facial hair, in the form of black-haired young man with a goatee. "You're just jealous." _

_Deidara giggled again. "Oh, I totally am. Your breasts are amazing!" He rested his hand on his own breast, tossing his choppy red hair. _

_"Come on, brat," Sasori grumbled, "Get on the other side of the street. We don't want to look conspicuous." _

_Deidara rolled his (or rather her) eyes and tossed his hair again. "Fine." He said with a smirk, disappearing into the crowd. _

_Sasori bent his head, glancing every so often across the street to make sure that Deidara was still keeping pace. He did look almost exactly like Sasori, except with a much more curvier body and longer hair. He thought he was sooo funny... _

_'Although', thought Sasori, 'it's a near-perfect resemblance to me...' He smirked, and glanced across the street again- only to find that Deidara was not there._

_"Shit!" Sasori hissed, crossing the street and keeping his neck craned over the crowd to look for Deidara. "Fuck... where the hell did he go?" _

_This side of the street was even more packed. Women and men milling back and forth, it was impossible to tell who was who. _

_A sudden thought struck him. _

_"That little brat," Sasori growled, thrusting his hands into his pockets. "I bet he's hiding. I bet he's just trying to play a joke on me." Sasori scanned the crowd once more, searching for a place for Deidara to hide. _

_The mouth to an alley loomed ahead. 'Aha. I have you, Deidara.' Sasori smirked, and ducked into the alley. It was quiet, and dark. Sasori didn't see anything yet, but as he wandered deeper into the alley, he thought he heard something. _

_"Let go!" Squeaked a female voice. _

_"Shut up!" Growled one much deeper, definately belonging to a male. He heard a chilling sound that sounded like two very solid objects being cracked together. Sasori froze, listening. _

_He didn't hear the female voice speak again, but he heard something that sounded like a groan in the male's voice. 'Oh god', Sasori's heart was hammering, 'Oh my god, what's going on?' _

_Sasori winced, and took a few more careful steps down the alley. A bend in betweent two buildings was drawing closer... where the voices were coming from. Wincing, trying to be as silent as possible, Sasori slid against the wall and peered around the corner to reveal a chilling sight. _

_Deidara (still in his henge form) was unconsious (or so Sasori hoped), sprawled on the ground with another man on top of him/her. Sasori ducked away, and slid to the ground, panic rising in him. He could kill the guy right now, but that would draw attention to the area if he didn't do it fast enough. The guy would scream. _

_Sasori decided that there was nothing he could do but wait, at this point. He rested his head in his hands and listened to the man's throaty moans, each one giving him a chill up his back. 'Stop, stop.. this isn't right... stop...' He thought, squeezing his eyes shut._

_Suddenly, the man's voice rang out again. "What the fuck?! What the HE-" A sudden scuffling of feet rang out and Sasori sheilded himself closer to the wall, watching as the guy bolted out of the alleyway past him, struggling with his pants. _

_Sasori waited until he disappeared, before standing up and scrambling into the alleyway. "Deidara!" He sprawled on his knees before his partner, who, it seemed, had lost control of the jutsu as he entered unconsiousness and had begun to slowly transform back into himself. He looked like Sasori and himself mashed together, his hair returning halfway to blonde but his eyes remaining their dark red, half-open and unseeing. _

_Sasori winced and put his hand near Deidara's mouth to make sure he was still breathing. With a thrill, he felt a weak, hot exhale. "Hang on, Dei." Sasori muttered, lifting the blonde up with some difficulty. "It's going to be a damn long walk home._


	8. Filler

Auri's Notes: Late chapter, my apologies.

-  
"Ow..." Deidara winced, sitting up against his headboard with his arms folded over his stomach. Sasori glanced up from his spot on the floor.

"What?"

"I don't know..." Deidara trailed off. "Hurts, un..." Sasori frowned, and scrambled up to join Deidara on the bed.

"Like... hurts in what way?" Sasori asked, brushing away Deidara's bangs to see the other eye. Ever since he and Sasori were together, Deidara had abandoned of wearing the scope, since it was of no use to him until he would be back on missions. It was a nice change to Sasori, who appreciated both of Deidara's bright, pretty eyes on him at once.

"I don't know..." Deidara said, shrugging. "Goddamn..." He sighed, and thunked the back of his head against the headboard. "Ow."

"You blonde," Sasori cracked a grin.

"Shortie."

"Blondie."

"Okay, no blonde joke, no short jokes."

"Deal."

There was a loud, sharp knock on Deidara's door and the pair of them looked up. "What?" Deidara called, leaning forward slightly.

The door opened and Kisame stuck his head in. "Leader-sama wants you both to clean the kitchen." He reported, looking harassed. "He wants it done /now/." With a sigh, Kisame ducked from the room and shut the door with a snap.

Deidara pressed his palms to his eyes with a moan. "I don't wannaaaa, un!" He sighed, and slid off the bed.

"Quit complaining," Sasori chided, catching Deidara around the waist and leaning forward to nuzzle the blonde's neck.

"Yes, dannaaaa," He groaned, leaning into Sasori slightly. The two of them made their way towards the kitchen, passing Tobi who was crouched on the floor with a litter of shurikens surrounding him.

Tobi waved, but did not say anything and went back to placing the shurikens in seperate piles while muttering, "13, 14, 15..."

Deidara frowned at Sasori, who shrugged and pushed the door open to the kitchen.

"Oh my god." Deidara froze in the doorway, seeing the stack of dishes. "What the hell?!"

Sasori let go of Deidara's hip with a sigh and approached the sink. It was full of water and bits of floating food, which was disgusting. "Oh, dammit," He sighed, rolling up his sleeve and plunging his wrist into the now cold water.

Deidara took one look and gagged, leaning heavily into the counter.

"You throw up here and you're dead." Sasori growled, extracting the plug and flipping it into the other side of the double sink. He stuck his tongue out in disgust and shuddered, "Eugghhh."

Deidara grinned over his shoulder and began to dig in one of the cupboards. "You're doing the dishes, by the way, un." He said, tossing Sasori a pair of rubber gloves.

Sasori caught one of them but the other landed in the sink. "Ewww, Dei..." He muttered, pulling one glove on and reaching in to grab the other. The water was still draining, veeerrryyy slowly.

His blonde partner chuckled, and went to gathering up dishes that had somehow scattered their way across the kitchen. "Do you think Leader-sama will let me quit cleaning once I reach nine months, un?"

Sasori grinned, rinsing out the sink with some hot water. "He'll have to. Damn, Deidara, that only leaves you with two more months to go." He plugged the sink up again and began to fill it with more hot water, drizzling soap into the running water as he did so.

"I was thinking..." Deidara muttered, stacking about five plates on top of each other and pushing them towards Sasori. "How am I gonna... uh... have it, un?"

"They'll probably cut you open."

Deidara glared at him.

"No, I'm serious." Sasori said, looking up at Deidara with his eyebrows raised. "That's the only way it CAN happen."

"Great." Deidara growled, taking up a coffee mug with heavy brown stains on the inside. "Ew... Sasori, sniff this..."

"Why, what's wrong with it...?" Sasori leaned towards the coffee cup, while putting down the soapy frying pan he had been holding. He took one sniff of the mug and then recoiled. "Oh my god! HIDAN!" He yelled over one shoulder, grabbing the cup from Deidara and peering into it. "That's /blood/."

Hidan suddenly poked his head into the door, "What the fuck do you want?" He growled, blood dripping down his face. His hand, which rested on the doorjamb, was covered in blood as well, and he was dripping a trail down the door and on the knob as well.

Sasori held up the coffee mug with raised eyebrows. "What are you trying to do, convert our kitchenware? No more using mugs in rituals."

"That's Zetsu's, now leave me the hell alone." Hidan snarled, slamming the door and leaving behind a smear of blood.

Deidara rolled his eyes, took up a wet washcloth, and wandered across the room to begin scrubbing the door. Sasori grimaced, and set the cup aside. "Ew..."

"Ew is right," Deidara called, opening the door partially to mop up the red liquid from where Hidan's fingers had rested. "He probably just finished a ritual."

"I bet." Sasori grumbled, "And now I'm left only to fathom why Zetsu had a mug of blood."

"He drank it, un." Deidara shrugged. "That's what I'd... ow..." He trailed off. Sasori glanced up to see him wince, arms folded.

"What's up?"

"N-nothing, un..." Deidara shook his head. "It's gone..." Sasori continued to give him a look, until Deidara raised his eyebrows. "I said it was nothing, danna."

Sasori shrugged, shook his head, and began scrubbing a pot.

------

"I...am...so... tired." Deidara groaned, hanging his head. "I need a shower, un."

"Take one, then." Sasori mumbled. "I don't want you smelling up the bedsheets."

The two of them had taken to sharing Deidara's room in the past month. This was such a comfort to Sasori, who enjoyed nothing more then falling asleep with Deidara's hand in his. However cheesy it was, it sure was nice.

"I'm going to, don't worry, un." Deidara grumbled, opening the door to his room and ducking inside. "Just... let me find some clean clothes first, geez..."

Sasori chuckled and flopped down on the bed, watching Deidara look through a pile of clothes.

"Danna. I'm fat." Deidara said suddenly, lifting up an oversize shirt that he'd stolen from Zetsu. "Really. I am, un." He threw the shirt over his shoulder with a sigh.

"Hey." Sasori slid off the bed and crossed the room to stand in front of Deidara, who looked rather perplexed. "You may be fat, but you're the only fat guy I've ever seen look so damn amazing." He reached up one hand, tilted Deidara's face towards him, and kissed the other softly on the lips, and received a pleased giggle in return. Deidara looped his arms around Sasori's neck, and Sasori rested his hands on Deidara's hips.

They broke apart after a minute, Deidara's face pleasantly flushed. "You're a real pretty fat guy." Sasori grinned at him, and Deidara smirked.

"Thank you, danna." Deidara ruffled Sasori's hair and then pulled away. "I'm going to shower, un. Be right back." He grinned at Sasori over his shoulder and ducked out of the room.

Sasori watched the handsome boy go, lazy-eyed and smiling. He was so happy to have him, baby or not. Secretly, he was hoping that Deidara would have a girl, even though he knew Deidara wanted a boy. It would relieve Sasori from the responsibility of naming it, though, if it was a girl.

Plus, he knew a baby girl would keep Konan happy with another female around. Even if all the kid did was squirm, whine, and cry...

..and other things, but Sasori didn't want to think about it at the time. Deidara and he... they would be almost parents. The kid would be THEIRS to raise, even though he assumed that it would be taken care of when Deidara and he were on missions together. He shuddered slightly, and sank onto the bed, pulling off his shirt. The thought of the child being in Itachi or Hidan's care...and... well... it just wasn't something he'd want to consider. 


	9. Revelations and A Higher Swing

Auri's Notes:

Amusing chapter, I thought. x

------

Sasori knocked tentatively on Pein's door once, and then took a step back with his arms folded behind his back. There was a sudden clattering from inside, and then a voice called with a dull, "What?"

Sasori opened the door and stepped inside. Pein was looking hassled, his orange hair stuck up in places that it normally wasn't, his cloak slung over one shoulder. "What is it, Sasori?" Pein asked, digging in a dresser drawer.

"Uh... Leader-sama, are you... looking for something?" Sasori frowned, watching Pein's harried actions with confusion.

"Yes," Pein said shortly. "Now what do you want?"

"I wanted to ask you... about Deidara..." Sasori asked gingerly. Pein sighed heavily and looked over his shoulder. Sasori held his gaze, watching as Leader pulled his cloak on and crossed the room.

"What about him?" Pein asked carefully, walking past Sasori towards his closet.

"Uh... what... are we going to do when he's supposed to... have it?"

Pein was quiet, digging in his closet and throwing things over his shoulder. Sasori ducked a flying shoe but kept his mouth closed, waiting for Pein's reponse. "I guess," Pein said carefully, "We'll have to do a... uh... what are they called," He snapped his fingers, "Cezar-section?"

"Cesarian?"

"Right." Pein nodded, "One of those."

"But we don't know /when/ he's going to have it." Sasori said, frowning. "What if he's supposed to have it and we're not prepared for it?"

Pein seemed to be considering this. "You've got a point," He said, frowning at the floor. "We might have to perform the operation early to prevent that."

"How early?" Sasori asked, folding his arms behind his back again and watching Pein throw another shoe (matching the one that nearly hit Sasori) over his shoulder.

"How far along is the brat?" Pein asked, glancing over his shoulder at Sasori.

"Tomorrow it'll be eight months." Sasori said with a small bow of his head. "And don't call him 'brat', please."

"I'll call him whatever the hell I want to call him, Sasori," Pein said, "Eight months... and... there's also the prospect of a premature birth..." He frowned deeper, and put his hand up to his mouth. "Tell Deidara," He said after a minute, "That we'll do it in two weeks."

Sasori's eyes widened. "Two weeks? Leader-sama, are you sure that's a long enough time?"

Pein shook his head. "No, I'm not." He sighed. "I'll ask Konan. She's sure to know something and then I'll get back to you, Sasori. Now... is that it?"

"Yes, thank you." Sasori said, bowing his head again. He edged towards the door without another word, sparing Pein another glance over his shoulder.

------

"Ahaaaa, Danna, that feels soooo good," Deidara moaned, arching his back slightly and digging his fingernails into the pillow. "D-don't stop..."

Sasori chuckled from somewhere behind him. "You like?" He muttered darkly, a wicked grin spreading over his face as Deidara gave a shuddering gasp and nodded.

"Ahh! R-right there," Deidara bowed his head, breath coming in short, small gasps. "Yes... yes, harder... harder, danna...please...Ahahhh..."

"Your welcome, Dei-kun." Sasori purred, his grin widening. Deidara shuddered and clenched his teeth together, another satisfied groan escaping him.

Sasori pressed his thumbs into Deidara's shoulderblades as he continued his relentless massage. The blonde gave a pleasant whine as Sasori dug his fingertips into his partner's back.

"For the love of god, Deidara," Konan grumbled from across the room, watching a paper butterfly soar in small circles above her head, "Quit moaning, or else you'll make the whole house horny."

"I can't help it, un." Deidara whined, "You should f-aaahhh!" Sasori had found a particularly tender spot, "Feel this!"

Konan smirked at Sasori, who grinned back. "I'll pass, thanks. Sounds like you're enjoying it more than I would, anyhow." The butterfly swooped gracefully above, and Konan reached out her hand and caught it. "Anyway. Sasori, has Pein gotten back to you yet?"

Sasori froze, and Deidara looked around. "About what, danna?" The blonde asked, tilting his head.

"Nothing," Sasori flushed, and let go of Deidara's shoulders. "I just asked him about what we're going to do about the kid."

Deidara nodded. "Ah. What did he say, un?" He turned around on the couch and folded his legs underneath him to lean forward slightly.

"He said... he'd get back to me." Sasori glanced at Konan. "And no, he hasn't yet."

"It's been three days," Konan shook her head. "That man's one hell of a procrastinator..."

"Maybe he hasn't decided anything yet." Sasori offered, and Deidara glanced around with a frown.

"Decided on what?"

"I don't know yet." Sasori groaned, leaning his head back on the couch and pressing one hand over his eyes. "I'm guessing he talked to you though, Konan?"

The blue-haired girl nodded with a small sigh, "Yes."

"What did you tell him, then?"

"I told him that two weeks was long enough."

Deidara smacked a hand down on his leg. "Will someone please tell me what the fuck you're talking about, un?!" He bitched, glaring from Sasori to Konan.

"The baby, Dei!" Sasori groaned. "The kid!"

"Two weeks for what?!" Deidara cried, rolling his eyes exasperatedly.

"Uh..."

"The damn C-section!" Konan barked. "Deidara, you're having the kid in two weeks."

Deidara's face paled a shade and he nodded slowly. "'kay..." He said weakly, snuggling defensively into Sasori's shoulder. Sasori reached over to lace his fingers with the blonde's, but said nothing more.

"Pein should have thought of something by now," Konan muttered, leaning back slightly with a sigh. "I don't get why he's putting this off... maybe he's just lazy?"

Sasori shrugged nonchalantly, squeezing Deidara's hand. "I bet." He growled, raising an eyebrow at Konan. "I bet he is, the lazy a-"

"Sasori." Konan said sharply. "Careful what you say."

Deidara sighed and snuggled deeper into Sasori's shoulder. "How come you guys never told me any of this, un?" He asked suddenly, not looking up.

"Dei... we didn't want to tell you anything, not until we knew for sure." Sasori said quietly, "We didn't want to...disappoint you, or mislead you..."

"So you just... hid stuff from me?" Deidara asked, sitting up and turning around to look at Sasori, his voice escalating slightly. "You just wanted to keep me in the dark, un?"

"Deidara, calm down," Konan said, "Sasori's trying to explain the best he can, just be patient with him."

Deidara said nothing to this except to huff loudly and roll his eyes.

"Dei," Sasori tried again, "Look... we... /I/ didn't want to scare you... or make you worry... I didn't want to hurt you..." He swallowed hard. "I was trying to protect you. Deidara, I love you..."

The bomb technician blinked, and then buried his face into Sasori's shoulder with a muffled sob.

Sasori glanced at Konan, who was politely averting her eyes, and then curled his arms around Deidara, pulling the blonde closer to him. Deidara's shoulders were heaving, his breath coming in short gasps. "S'okay, Dei-kun," Sasori muttered, closing his eyes tightly and nuzzling Deidara's shoulder. "It's okay... I'm sorry...so sorry..."

The door banged open suddenly, and all three of them looked up to see Pein leaning into the room. "Dei-Sas-Kon... all three of you," He snapped hurriedly. "I'm sorry to intrude, but Deidara... your... baby... uh, a cezar-section will be performed two weeks from now, okay?"

"Cezar-section?" Deidara and Konan both queried at the same time, and Sasori grinned, bowing his head slightly so Pein wouldn't see.

"Cesa... cez... dammit, Sasori?"

"Cesarian." Sasori managed to say, muffling his laughter with one hand. Pein glared at him but didn't mention it.

"Right... Cesarian section... well, got it, Deidara?" Pein asked, raising an eyebrow at the blonde, who nodded and kept his face set. "Two fridays from now."

"This means that you and Sasori will have to make preparations for it," Pein continued, "By that, I mean spending money on... whatever babies eat... and.. I guess clothing, uh..." Pein frowned, and sighed. "And.. stuff... got it?"

The trio nodded.

"Good. You'd better have everything by next friday, dammit." And he shut the door with a snap. Sasori looked at Deidara who looked from him to Konan who was staring at the floor and shaking her head.

"He's an idiot sometimes, I swear." Konan sighed, standing up and stretching. "Well, I'm gonna go eat lunch. If you guys need me, I'll be in the kitchen." She strode across the room and dissappeared through the door that Pein had just abandoned.

Deidara looked at Sasori with a small frown on his face. "Danna... this is really happening, isn't it, un?"

"'fraid so, Dei-kun." Sasori said, running a hand through his hair with a small sigh. "'fraid so..." 


	10. Birth & A Renewed Affection

AURI'S NOTES:

-shot-

I MADE SASORI /SO/ OOC. xP I'm sorryyyyy.

-----------------

Sasori clenched his eyes shut and pressed his fists over his ears, trying to block out the noise. Konan sat beside him, whimpering quietly into her sleeve. The air was torn with Deidara's pained, animal-like howls, accompanied with Kakuzu and Pein's frustrated yells.

The rest of the Akatsuki were crowded in an adjoining room. Hidan was tapping his scythe on the ground slowly, over and over again, Zetsu was brooding in a corner with his arms folded, Tobi was rocking back and forth muttering about,"Poor sempai!", and Itachi and Kisame were both staring stonily at the floor, Itachi's hands pressed over his ears.

"I can't take this much longer." Sasori said dully under his breath to Konan, who let out a whine as one of Deidara's yells reached a crescendo.

Sasori could hear Pein's voice roar, "HOLD HIM STILL!" and didn't catch Kakuzu's reply.

"I can't take that much longer!" Kisame suddenly snapped, pointing at Hidan. "Knock it the fuck off!" 

Hidan glared at the shark-man for a minute before holding the scythe over one shoulder without a word.

"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!" Pein's voice again.

Sasori's heart hammered, swallowing his voice which so desperately wanted to scream out in frustration and angst.

"I can't imagine." Itachi muttered dully. "Must be like... like..."

"Like having your stomach torn out and you having to watch?" One half of Zetsu offered, looking up suddenly with a tilted head.

Itachi nodded. "Yeah..."

Sasori winced as he heard Pein yell above one of Deidara's frantic screams, "AHHH, SO CLOSE, SO /FUCKING/ CLOSE!" Sasori's head whipped around to stare at the door, eyes widening.

"Konan... stop whimpering..." Sasori muttered, "He'll be fine..." He hoped... no, he prayed... to whatever diety was there (except Jashin) that Deidara would be okay. That the kid would be okay.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, KNOCK HIM OUT WITH SOMETHING!" Kakuzu roared suddenly.

"WE DON'T NEED TO, DAMMIT! HOLD HIM, WE'RE ALMOST..." The rest of Pein's words were drowned by a wrenching yell from Deidara.

"DAMMIT, I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE!" Sasori suddenly snarled, throwing up his arms in frustration. "THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS! I CAN'T TAKE IT!"

Suddenly, everything was quiet except for one or two vague moans from the door and the sound of a voice recognzied as Kakuzu's saying, "About damn time... here, give it to me, you stitch him up..." Sasori looked around expectantly.

Everything was quiet for a few minutes, although Deidara let out a few more moans and wails that Sasori did not know the reason for. After a while, the clattering of footsteps sounded from within and the door banged open, and Pein stuck his head out, panting and spattered in blood, face contorted in exhaustion. 

"It's... a girl..."

Sasori's heard raced, and he felt a grin spread across his face. Konan threw her arms around Sasori again and he simply shook his head, feeling rather lightheaded.

"What did sempai name it?" Tobi cried, bouncing up and down.

"I don't know yet," Pein sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "He's pretty out of it right now, just give him time..." The Akatsuki Leader hung his head, shoulders heaving.

Sasori felt oddly numb. So. It was finally over... "Can I see him?" He asked, looking up at Pein.

Pein shook his head. "Give him a minute, Sasori." He said sternly. "Just let him rest up, will you? The kid just gave birth for god's sake."

Hidan smirked. "So, how was the delivery, Leader-sama?" He asked, to a glare from Pein.

"How do you /think/ it went?" Pein exhaled loudly. "Dear god, have you ever sliced open someone's stomach with them awake and only one person to hold them down?"

A grin broke across Zetsu's faces and he looked at Itachi expectantly, who rolled his eyes and smirked.

"Actually, yes, yes I have..." Hidan mumbled, looking away.

"So where's the kid?" Kisame asked, folding his arms and leaning back slightly.

"In there with Kakuzu..."

"Does she have what you wanted?" Sasori asked, a rather icy tone in his voice.

"As a matter of fact," Pein said smoothly, "She does. She has three extra mouths, blue eyes, and..." His eyes lingered on Sasori for a minute. "...red hair..."

Sasori's eyes widened. "Oh my god," He breathed. "It's /me/..."

"Wait, WHAT? You?!" Konan frowned, tilting her head.

"Deidara... he was... he was henged into a female version of... me... when... when that guy... and... when I found him, he was in the middle of the henge, between me and himself... it... the genes.. must have mixed...or... something..." His head pounded nastily and he closed his eyes. "It was a joke at first...but..."

"So... that kid is half you and half Deidara, appearance-wise?" Itachi raised an eyebrow, staring at Sasori intently.

"Appearance-wise." Sasori affirmed. "But that... should be it..." He opened his eyes suddenly as a thin wailing rose from the room.

"Shit." Pein muttered, "Look, you can go, the lot of you...Come back later if you want to see him, Sasori." He ducked back into the room without another word and shut the door.

Sasori shook his head, dumbfounded. "I don't beleive it," He muttered, "I honestly don't..."

-----

"KNOCK FIRST!"

Sasori struggled against Konan with a desperate groan, clawing at the door in vain. "No, dammit! I want to see him NOW!"

"What if he's sleeping? KNOCK, SASORI! You can't just go barging in, that's rude!" Konan hissed, holding Sasori by the waist and the collar of his cloak.

Sasori stopped squirming, glared at her, and then relaxed with a defeated sigh. "Fine." He muttered, taking a deep breath. "...fine." Lifting his knuckles, he knocked tentatively on the door.

"...what?" Came a weary voice.

"Dei-kun... it's me."

"Oh... c'mon in, then, un..."

Sasori opened the door. Deidara was leaning against his pillows, on his side, his eyes alight. He was shirtless, thick, rust-stained bandages wound around his stomach down to his pants. His hair was free of the usual headband, and was hanging behind him in a loose ponytail. The tired-looking blonde reached out his hand as Sasori approached.

"Hey..." Sasori said nervously, taking the offered hand in his and sitting down gingerly on the edge of the bed. "How are you?"

"...I'm... in pain, danna..." Deidara said weakly, smiling up at the Sasori. "But I'm okay..."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Sasori-kun..." Deidara squeezed his hand once, closing his eyes. "...you should have seen her..."

"Is she beautiful?" Sasori asked, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch.

"Yes." Deidara grinned and opened his eyes. "She really is... Kakuzu has her still... routine checkup I guess, un..."

"So... what's her name?"

Deidara sat up, and crawled forward on the bed to loop his arms around Sasori's neck. "I... named her Ayatsuri, un," He whispered, his voice breaking. "Danna..."

Ayatsuri... Sasori gingerly wrapped his arms around the blonde's shoulders. "Deidara... it's a beautiful name." 

Deidara sniffed, and pulled away, holding Sasori at shoulder's length. "Sasori...thank you..."

"For what?" Sasori asked, frowning slightly.

"Everything... for... hanging in there with me, un... for letting me drive you crazy..." He chuckled slightly, and Sasori smiled. "For... being with me... for letting me hang on you... for making me happy... for... being there for me when no one else was, un... for loving me..." Sasori closed his eyes, and nuzzled into Deidara's shoulder, feeling his throat burn. He hated not being able to cry, it hurt so much more that way.

"Deidara," Sasori rasped. "You're welcome."

Deidara chuckled, and ran a hand through Sasori's hair. "Danna... I was thinking..."

"Hm?"

"Will she call me 'dad'?"

"How about you be the dad and I'll be the danna?" Sasori asked, lifting his head with a small smile. Deidara grinned as well, and nodded.

"Okay then... so... she gets no mom?"

"No," Sasori smirked. "She gets Konan-chan." 


End file.
